So, as you may have guessed - this post is about my vision issues and the weird things that have happened as a direct result of them. I find these absolutely hilarious!
Being "legally blind" and "completely/totally blind" are the two most different things I can think of, but some people just don't realize this difference. Assumptions are made, and then there I am, left having to explain the situation to a complete stranger in the line at Starbucks or something like that. So here are the 7 most {awkward} situations I can recall:
1.) "What does she want?"
Oh, this question... It has been asked to my grandma, friends, boyfriends, everyone. Picture this: I'm sitting in a casual restaurant, glancing over the menu. I'm holding it probably less than 3 inches from my face. I'm also most likely rocking back and forth in my chair, or moving my head from side to side. The waiter/waitress walks over to my table, notices what I'm doing, and looks at me pityingly. Then, they look over to whoever I'm currently dining with and ask "what does she want?" as if I cannot speak. Then. my grandma responds with the grand ol' "I don't know, why don't you ask her?" and I have to reply with "Oh, sorry... I have a vision problem, um, excuse me if I look weird, but I can order for myself. Oh, and I'd like the Filet Mignon please."
2.) "Do you know sign language?"
Firstly, boy from my school bus, I think your logic is slightly off. I can hear just fine. "Did you mean Braille? In that case, no. I can read print if it's large enough." At this point, I am receiving the most confused look ever. "...But I thought you were blind." Great, here we go again. So I spend the next five minutes of my life explaining that I am not blind but I am visually impaired. This means that I can see. I also had to explain the difference between sign language and Braille to that young man - and I slightly lost hope in humanity that day.
3.) "Betcha don't know how many fingers I'm holding up!"
I hate this question, and you would never believe how many times it's been asked to me. I was just minding my own business, using my video magnifier to enlarge my notes in an American Lit class, when a fellow classmate walks over. Oh gosh, it's the class clown. "Keep walking, keep walking," I think. But nope, he stops right in front of my desk, sneers, and holds two fingers so close to my face, I could tell you what he ate for lunch 2 days beforehand. "Betcha don't know how many fingers I'm holding up!" When everyone starts staring, he felt the need to say "Well, she's blind so..." Then, of course, I had to explain - for the millionth time - I'm not blind, and that he was in fact holding up two fingers. He was stunned. *mic drop*
4.) "Here, _______. Do this for her."
Hello? I'm right here, and I can hear everything you're saying. Maybe, instead of asking my friend to fill out a paper for me or cut something out for a project, quietly ask me if I am able to see well enough to complete the task myself. Much to your surprise, I'll usually say yes. However, if I don't say yes, I'll politely ask you for help. Then, it is completely acceptable to get a friend or someone else I trust to assist me. Or, you can ask how you could make the task easier for me. I could always give a suggestion. I like to be independent, and it really hurts my feelings when people make the assumption that I cannot do things for myself. Also, it's quite embarrassing when you ask a random person to do something for me. Therefore, just ask me. I don't bite most of the time!
Hello? I'm right here, and I can hear everything you're saying. Maybe, instead of asking my friend to fill out a paper for me or cut something out for a project, quietly ask me if I am able to see well enough to complete the task myself. Much to your surprise, I'll usually say yes. However, if I don't say yes, I'll politely ask you for help. Then, it is completely acceptable to get a friend or someone else I trust to assist me. Or, you can ask how you could make the task easier for me. I could always give a suggestion. I like to be independent, and it really hurts my feelings when people make the assumption that I cannot do things for myself. Also, it's quite embarrassing when you ask a random person to do something for me. Therefore, just ask me. I don't bite most of the time!
5.) "Stop, you'll hurt yourself!"
Okay, let's just take a moment to ponder this. I have a visual impairment (which is a disability), but I don't recall taping a "fragile: please handle with care" sticker to my forehead. I will not break, I promise. I am very comfortable with my abilities, or lack thereof, and I know my limits better than anyone else. It's very uncomfortable being called out in the middle of say - play rehearsal - to be told not to do a certain dance move or lean too close to the edge of the stage because I might "hurt" myself. That's what glow-in-the-dark tape is for, right? If something does happen, which I can't recall something significantly dangerous happening due to my vision, I'll be okay just like everyone else. Accidents happen, and I'm no exception. But, please, don't make a mountain out of a molehill regarding my visual impairment.
Okay, let's just take a moment to ponder this. I have a visual impairment (which is a disability), but I don't recall taping a "fragile: please handle with care" sticker to my forehead. I will not break, I promise. I am very comfortable with my abilities, or lack thereof, and I know my limits better than anyone else. It's very uncomfortable being called out in the middle of say - play rehearsal - to be told not to do a certain dance move or lean too close to the edge of the stage because I might "hurt" myself. That's what glow-in-the-dark tape is for, right? If something does happen, which I can't recall something significantly dangerous happening due to my vision, I'll be okay just like everyone else. Accidents happen, and I'm no exception. But, please, don't make a mountain out of a molehill regarding my visual impairment.
6.) "If you hold that phone so close, you're gonna go blind!"
Too late, dear. I'm way ahead of you of that one, unfortunately. I was in the line at Starbucks, glancing over the menu on my phone so I could be fully prepared when the barista asked for my order (Darn you, social anxiety), when the woman behind me snickers. I turned around, hoping to see something pretty funny, but she was looking my way. I turned back behind me, completely confused. She then says "If you hold that phone so close, you're gonna go blind!" then she goes back to looking at the pastries, as if nothing happened. I didn't want to say anything, but something in me began talking anyway. "I have a problem seeing things far away, so I do hold my phone a bit closer. Sorry if it's bothering you." Then we have to just stand in line silently for the next 3 minutes until I can order my Grande White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino and leave. Can we say awkward?
Too late, dear. I'm way ahead of you of that one, unfortunately. I was in the line at Starbucks, glancing over the menu on my phone so I could be fully prepared when the barista asked for my order (Darn you, social anxiety), when the woman behind me snickers. I turned around, hoping to see something pretty funny, but she was looking my way. I turned back behind me, completely confused. She then says "If you hold that phone so close, you're gonna go blind!" then she goes back to looking at the pastries, as if nothing happened. I didn't want to say anything, but something in me began talking anyway. "I have a problem seeing things far away, so I do hold my phone a bit closer. Sorry if it's bothering you." Then we have to just stand in line silently for the next 3 minutes until I can order my Grande White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino and leave. Can we say awkward?
7.) "I'm pretty sure that's 10 dollars."
This was possibly the most uncomfortable situation ever when it happened, but is quite funny now. I had walked into the dollar store to buy a birthday card for my cousin (I know it's bad that I got a birthday card from the dollar store but that's not the point) and I was just getting ready to pay when the cashier saw me having a hard time with my money, struggling to read the numbers on the bills. I finally got myself together and handed him a 20 dollar bill. I waited for my 17-and-some-odd dollars back when he hands me 7 dollars instead. "Excuse me, but I gave you a 20." He looks absolutely disgusted. "I'm pretty sure that's 10 dollars." he says. I had no idea what to say; thank goodness a lady I knew from church was behind me in line. She proceeded to tell him how rude it was to take advantage of someone who couldn't see. She literally made me cry, right there in the checkout line, because I was so happy someone had stuck up for me. So, long story short, I held up the entire line that day over a birthday card.
As you can see, many misconceptions and generalizations are made about someone with a visual impairment - or any disability for that matter. However, you have to make the best of the bad situations and see the humor in it. The moral of this story is: (a) things aren't always as they seem, and (b) don't buy birthday cards from the dollar store.
FIGHT LIKE A SPOONIE!
xoxo,
Johna
This was possibly the most uncomfortable situation ever when it happened, but is quite funny now. I had walked into the dollar store to buy a birthday card for my cousin (I know it's bad that I got a birthday card from the dollar store but that's not the point) and I was just getting ready to pay when the cashier saw me having a hard time with my money, struggling to read the numbers on the bills. I finally got myself together and handed him a 20 dollar bill. I waited for my 17-and-some-odd dollars back when he hands me 7 dollars instead. "Excuse me, but I gave you a 20." He looks absolutely disgusted. "I'm pretty sure that's 10 dollars." he says. I had no idea what to say; thank goodness a lady I knew from church was behind me in line. She proceeded to tell him how rude it was to take advantage of someone who couldn't see. She literally made me cry, right there in the checkout line, because I was so happy someone had stuck up for me. So, long story short, I held up the entire line that day over a birthday card.
As you can see, many misconceptions and generalizations are made about someone with a visual impairment - or any disability for that matter. However, you have to make the best of the bad situations and see the humor in it. The moral of this story is: (a) things aren't always as they seem, and (b) don't buy birthday cards from the dollar store.
FIGHT LIKE A SPOONIE!
xoxo,
Johna
