So I haven't blogged in a few weeks because I've been so busy, but I'm baaaack! As many of you know, I have participated in theatre ever since I've been in high school. Acting is a way for me to creatively express myself all while having a great time! I've also made some amazing memories in the last three years on the stage of Thomson High School, from being the Coroner in "The Wizard of Oz", to being in my tower as Rapunzel in "Into The Woods". I've also met many friends that will be a part of my life for years to come.
However, this year is different. I have made the decision to not participate. Not because of health concerns, but because of the director. (For confidentiality reasons - I'm not using her name)
Dear Teacher that Destroyed my Confidence,
For the last three years, you've watched me give my best effort, bring a positive attitude, and successfully participate in multiple shows all while battling many health issues. You've continually bashed me by saying things like "You cannot do this." or "You won't fit into this cast." all because I have a VISUAL IMPAIRMENT. You've left me feeling disappointed when I'm constantly proving that I CAN do something, and you still inform me that it's impossible. You've pushed me around the stage, shoving me into a spot, assuming I can't see well enough to walk by myself. But, you've never given me a chance. I was destined to fail, because of your unkind words and actions. You've yelled in my face, asking me why I'm here, when all I want to do is be included. Is that too much to ask? You've put me down in front of the entire cast, just to embarrass me. You've told me I was "useless". So, I've had enough.
You always say "this year's our year", but I'm tired of the false hope. I don't want any part of a group that makes me feel excluded and I certainly don't want to be in a place where I am told that I "don't fit in". I don't have to be shouted at for having water, sitting down, or needing a restroom. I don't want to be afraid to ask for help anymore. I want to go back to truly believing in myself, and feeling like I can do anything. I quit. No more being blamed for things I have no control over, no more useless tears, and no more being told I'm not worth the effort, because I am worth it. No more limiting me.
Lastly, if you're reading this, I just want to say thank you. (Stay with me here, I'm not crazy). Thank you for showing me that there will be obstacles and challenges in this world, but there's always a way to overcome it. Thank you for teaching me to do what's best for me. Thank you for making me dig down deep in myself and realize that I am important, and that I mean something. Without this horrible experience, I would've never truly understood my worth. However, before you bring someone down because of a disability, imagine yourself in their shoes. What would you do if someone told you "you're not worth it"? I honestly hope no other child has to feel the way I did, when all they want is to be a part of the group.
Sincerely,
Johna
Thanks so much everyone, I hope this post was inspiring. Remember, no matter what anyone's ever said to you, you are worth it, and I love you. Please find it in you to love yourself as much as I love you. Don't let anyone destroy your confidence!
FIGHT LIKE A SPOONIE!
xoxo,
Johna
